3 Months?

So, I must be the worst blogger of all time. I mean, it is the "er" that makes one an active participant in the world of blog. I own a blog, my blog is on the internet, but the last time I was an "er" my beautiful bundle of baby joy was well tucked away in my wife's warm womb.

It is 7:41 AM, at four this morning my wife said, "You have got to take her..."

The baby is not much of a sleeper. She was born exactly 14 weeks ago, which is the mile-marker of exactly how long it takes to be classified as clinically insane from sleep deprivation (I just made that up). Mommy and I had a rough start with the no sleep situation, but as all parents must do, we learned to deal with it. We swap out portions of the night to take the baby on long cradling strolls through the short halls of our home, while the other adult sleeps. The strolls help the baby sleep, it turns out she likes the motion of walking, the problem is: walking is the one position I can't sleep in.

Sometimes the baby will nod off in my lap which always puts me to sleep, sometimes she will sleep in the cradle next to the bed, which also lulls me off into la la land, just peeking at her in the rearview mirror racked out in her rear-facing car seat makes me want to doze while I drive. Each of these is only an example of how good it could be if she would sleep regularly in any of these positions. Alas, she loves the walk.

Truth is, the walk keeps me moving, which keeps me awake at times I would normally rest, which is an excellent time to scrawl out some thoughts, but again, like sleeping, blogging is a challenge while walking. How then, might one ask, have I found time this morning to jot down these notes?

Many inventions have changed the face of the earth, the civilities of societies and the abilities of those who inhabit the earth. Some believe the wheel is man's #1, a friend of mine in the world of theater claims that the mirrored glass shaped the way we see our world through our own reflections, my dad marvels that we put a man on the moon:

I am thankful for the baby swing.

In 1971 my mom hand-cranked the rickety aluminum baby swing that rocked me to sleep but that was merely the model T to todays Humvee of baby rockers. Today's high-tech, space aged swingers of baby bottoms come with Jetson grade gizmos designed to accommodate each of our babies developing senses.

The modern mobile no longer waits for a gust of wind from a swinging door to take a spin and grab a babies gaze; these mobiles are mechanically enhanced to rotate one quarter turn per rocking motion. Some baby Einstein who studies the affect of inanimate faces on an infant's brain development has placed on each of the mobile's arms, a stuffed character with an affirming smile so our abandoned baby never feels unloved.

The built in surround sound pumps white noise, sounds of running water and chirping birds directly into the ergonomically designed surrogate swinging whom. On her 16th birthday the baby will swear on Oprah's couch that she can recall pre-birth while her mother hiked the waterfalls of an ornithology preserve.

To the touch the seat is as soft as the bottom that rests upon it...the only two senses the corporate creators have overlooked are taste and smell, but I am sure they are working on it.